This is part 2 of 3 of my rambling advice for my daughter. Part 1 is here if you’d like to go!
Relationships
- Your family loves you in a way no one else will
- Your mother and I, as well as your grandparents and aunts and uncles, all love you so much. You’ll never find someone who loves you as much as we do outside a life partner. I hope you always remember this.
- Knowing yourself and balancing friendships
- I’ve noticed throughout life, myself included, that there’s a temptation to lose yourself in a relationship (friends or otherwise) and start acting in a way that isn’t you. Please never forget who you are, always know yourself and never do something you’re not comfortable with.
- Watch and understand what motivates people, if you do, you won’t be surprised about how things generally go
- If you can observe accurately what motivates people, you will be able to predict how they will react to situations. If you can hone these observation skills, you will have a good advantage in all aspects in life, especially relationships.
- Trust is hard to build but easy to destroy
- There was a TV show I used to watch with my Dad (Wings in the 90s) where a guest character said when asked why he didn’t drive: “I drive through one living room… and suddenly I’m an ‘insurance risk’!” Very analogous to building trust. You could spend years building trust with someone, but just one betrayal (or drive through one living room) and people won’t trust you at least the same way, if at all again. It’s too risky and life is short.
- Appreciate the difference between someone telling you what to do to help you and someone telling you what to do to feed their own ego
- I’ve largely had good bosses and mentors in life, the good ones will tell you what to do to help you. The bad ones will just pathetically try to exert their will over something to make themselves feel better. Appreciate the difference!
- Watch out for being manipulated, either by marketing or by people
- A lot of people are out there trying to advance themselves at the cost of other people through manipulation or scams, make sure you aren’t caught in a con artist’s snare!
